Ever feel like you’re masturbating on auto-pilot?
It’s been decades since I discovered that a helping hand feels good on my southern regions. With years to perfect self-pleasure, there are times when I masturbate without much thought. This can be great (I’m never one to scoff at arousal), but sometimes it can make masturbation feel like “business as usual” rather than a lusty moment alone.
Enter tantra, a spiritual philosophy with vibrant historical lineages. According to religious scholar Christopher D. Wallis, the Western world rediscovered tantra about 100 years ago, and today, Westerners largely associate tantra with sex. …
Tribadism, or dry humping, is one of the first sex acts that humans gravitate towards as kids. Providing our younger selves with the first delicious taste of sexual stimulation. I know of many people who began their sexual journey by practicing tribadism with a pillow or stuffed animal. I even know a Dominatrix whose submissive begs to rub his erection against a bedpost while she watches; tribadism mixed with voyeurism is his cocktail to achieve orgasm.
Regardless of one’s gender identity, tribadism can be a satisfying and empowering sex act.
One beauty of dry humping is how we can enjoy…
When you achieve happiness as a single person, you can be more fulfilled in your relationships and lifestyle.
Studies found that when humans intentionally create alone time for themselves, they can decrease feelings of loneliness and experience higher life satisfaction.
Not only that, but research also explains that when we devote time to being alone, we develop more empathy for the people around us. Along with experiencing deeper compassion, people who regularly make time for solitude report higher levels of creativity and lower stress.
When we are confident enough to enjoy being alone, magic happens — but this is not…
What is the strangest thing you’ve heard about sex?
The internet is a big place, and rumors about human sexuality run wild. While many sex “facts” are bias or inaccurate, some are true and kind of wacky.
As a sex scholar, I have the joy of running across sexy, new findings constantly. Here are some highlights from my vault of information. I hope they bring a smile to your face — or give you some fun questions to add to your trivia night!
One of the most common introductions to sex, if you have a vulva (vagina), is that your first time will hurt and you should “just take it” because sex will feel good eventually.
In this myth, we are introduced to sex with the assumption that it should not feel pleasurable and that we should not speak up about this.
Not only is this advice inaccurate — sex isn’t scientifically proven to hurt the first time — but it is in your best interest to talk about sex with your lover.
So, let’s understand the hymen and what actually happens when…
My first experience with sex was tragic. I began to fall in love with a man, and when we finally consummated our relationship, he violently overpowered me. My mind blocks out most of it, and to this day, all I remember are bedsheets, quietly enduring pain, and the limp in my step as I found my car the next morning.
Days later at work (we were colleagues) he bragged to our cohort about how he’d gotten in my pants. He continued to boast that he’d been so rough that I’d bled everywhere; he had to “burn his sheets”. When this…
Hook-up culture is vibrant, and the term relationship just doesn’t relate to many of our erotic affairs.
Compared to the monogamy standard, casual hook-ups don’t have enough substance to earn the title “relationship”. And as we try to define our habits, the word “situationship” was born, signifing the intersection of sex, romance, and a lack of something that the normative relationship has.
Today, the word “situationship” has developed certain connotations. It is the romantic road you didn’t mean to turn on, and now you find yourself having casual sex when maybe you wanted more. Despite modern love’s hectic tendies, or…
In a perfect world, when we say that we aren’t feeling sexual, our partner would respond by saying, “I’m glad you said something, thanks for taking care of yourself.”
In reality, it’s hard not to take it personally when someone rejects your touch — and perhaps this is where we should start, how society teaches us to define rejection.
Rejection is the dismissal of a proposal; a refusal. It is a harsh feeling to experience in a board room, let alone a bedroom. Yet, we may need to rethink what constitutes rejection in erotic moments. Someone sharing with us that…
When I was young, I used sex as a handshake.
In feminist circles, this behavior was often praised. “Look at you being sexually liberated! I wish I could be so open.”
It was also a great distraction from my own insecurities. Instead of asking myself what I needed from connection, I moved on to the next human.
After years of this erotic dance, I began to feel hallow. Sex became a numbing experience that brought feeble connections and a lack of self-esteem. I discovered that, like most people, I desired validation from others. …
Here are some thought-provoking facts about penetration: