Hey there, I'm Nadège (she/they)

In case your wondering, my name is pronounced nah-dejj, and to be 100% honest I became a sex scholar because I didn't like sex. Everyone seemed to be having an orgasmic time, except for me.

Anytime things turned sexual, my body tensed up and my self-worth went right out the window. I struggled with pelvic pain and I kept finding myself dating the same toxic personality type, which was confusing because I'm queer and I have dated a lot of different genders!

Let me tell you, men are not the reason why love and sex can be heartbreaking. It's our cultural expectations and social conditioning, but now I'm getting off topic...

I was desperate to enjoy love and sex. I went to therapy. I saw doctors. But my results never changed.

So I when I got to UC Berkeley, I become a sex scholar and gave myself permission to explore sex without judging myself.

I started with the safe stuff, like neuroscience, psychology, and history (you can't get triggered from a textbook!) Then I got braver. I dove into somatic body healing and spiritual sexuality. I even trained to be a Dominatrix when the opportunity presented itself.

I learned how to use pleasure to soothe my body, so that sex stopped feeling painful. I created a method that allowed me to pin point my sexual strengths so that I could honor my desires. And as a Dominatrix, I learned how to communicate with confidence so that my lovers respected me and cherished me.

But my biggest "ah-ha" moment was when I worked with my sexual subconscious. I realized that growing up in glamorous Los Angeles made me feel like an ugly duckling. Why would someone want me when they could date the model next door?

In order to protect myself, I subconsciously viewed sex as a transaction. If I gave someone sex, I hoped to get loyalty, acceptance, and validation in return.

The beautiful thing about education, healing, and empowerment is the awareness you get. Pain and trauma only controls your life when you are not aware of what's going on.

Today, my desires make me feel secure and sex is nourishing. I communicate confidently about what I want and experience loving, respectful relationships. But the most beautiful part of my journey was realizing that I am not alone.

We all struggle with sex, but the good news is, we can also heal sex. My goal at Pleasure Science is to help you to learn how to heal and empower your life.

Topics I write about on Medium include sex, wellness, queerness, spirituality, psychology, neuroscience, BDSM, and relationships.

When I'm not busy researching sex, you can find me at the beach with my dog Momo 🐶 or in a friend's jacuzzi (usually talking about zodiac signs.)

Thank you stopping by and reading a little bit about me!

Click here for 5 Life-Hacks About Sex From a Neuroscientist.

Have you read my #1 bestselling book SEXTROLOGY?